love! at last!

I found love in the ending once again...
It's never new beginnings.


Life just drones on and I couldn't be happier thinking about this ending...
I couldn't feel more free. I couldn't feel more love right now... bubbling up inside... a love for a life of nothing... no drama, no lover, no future to care for and tend to... nothing all laid out neatly... no more tip toeing around in fear of creasing or unfolding or disturbing... anything.


It's never new beginnings... it's just the beginning to yet another end. This is where I find my comfort... and this is the moment that I learn... if you start nothing new... THIS END will last forever... this feeling will never die.


Love! At last!

without the time

i have no time for these distractions... my head is spinning with things to do and places to be
there is always some kind of work that needs to be done
color me numb again and again... because numbness enhances my ability to get shit done
and there's a lot to get done......
and my life is too full of obligations; to produce good product again and again
maybe i'll see you while on vacation... if vacation days ever do come
maybe i'll meet you on the subway and we can talk from point A to point B
in between obligations and appointments and the expectations of others...
again and again and again

There's so much I want to *not* say right now... to you. to anyone, really.

But I still like you and I don't want to. He was wrong... so wrong about you... why did I listen? Why did I invent that enemy in you? How could I be so easily fooled...? Mistaken completely about who was what exactly....

I traded something for nothing. I wish I could tell you that. You were really something.

Wasted and Sober

Your hands whisper... something I'll never hold... your breath
I hold my breath for you... when I'm sleeping... when I'm crying

And I wonder how it would be if I obtained the nothingness I long for...
Because you remind me that I'm nothing...
(...but i already knew that)

Inhale me, exhale me... spew my age out onto my face, rub it in
Remind me of the lines fading in and out... all the time I'm wasting...

...all the time I've wasted.......... on you.