Dressed Down Daily

There are no true faces behind this screen of glowing success...
Unsatisfied. Unwilling to settle. Unwilling to meet the social standards.
Unwilling to... DRESS UP and GET OUT THERE!

And you don't even know who I am...
And I don't even know who I want to be.

Picture Perfect

I am beyond overwhelmed and it's fucking overwhelming

I am always without enough time

Without time to myself...

It is constant... I am in the constant forward motion

Moving so quickly - too quickly to appreciate each day

So this is success? This is where all my hard work has gotten me... more work?

I sigh close to constantly because hell, I'm "making art"

But who fucking cares if I'm on to the next piece before I can even admire works past

Who fucking cares is it's mass produced and making me money

Who fucking cares?

I need an assistant - a mini me... but no one can be me and do what I do

I can't sacrifice this work - my art - my art of finding more work and more art to make

Overwhelmed and waiting...

I wish I could sit back and watch this fall into my tired lap...

But good comes to those who work and I am sure this is good

Everyone tells me it's great!

I want to marry rich so I can make art more slow...

But I want to be alone - I want to be alone.

I want love to find me and to nurture me and my art.

I want love to leave me alone for days, no(!) - weeks at a time... upon every request.

You may want me to live and breath for you... but my life is just pictures...

I'll love all your pictures...

...just lend me picture perfect days?

Submission

Beat me into submission
I have been beat
I am tired and too shifty to grasp you and pull you back to the surface
To swim myself towards the light
I'll let you drown --- looking for someone to pull me up this time
I am exhausted by my own constant domination
I want to be a submarine
I want to drift with the tide until someone makes me a wave
I want to be held down by my throat... pin me to the bed until I come to my senses during those classic irrational female moments I hate admitting I have
Tell me what to do and when to do it... just for one day
Be MY lifesaver - Be MY supervisor
MY controller, my go to guy, my "it's in your best interest", my conscience of what is right and wrong... and someone tell ME when it is time...


...because it is time... and I am too tired to see this- clearly... but I am sure it's clear as day...


It's time...

to go.. to sink.. to float.. to stop struggling to save someone else