Paranoia in Untold Sounds

I want someone in whom I can tell my secrets to... in that hushed mellow excited way I used to... before you fell in love with me... before my thoughts were censored in a way to not harm you... because I have a secret and it needs to come out and spill over someone other than myself... I have something bottled up and about to burst inside of my own little shell... tearing me open wrist to elbow once again... creating an almost toxic atmosphere around me that only I can breath and suffocate in... and I am suffocating and I am terrified that if I die no one will ever know... I am shaking daily in my thoughts... I am paranoid beyond any paranoia... because if I go someone needs to know...